I’ll admit there are times when I just bail on things, people, plans, classes, the gym, my hopes and dreams. Every morning when I wake up, I look at my schedule and feel the gut punch of all the ways I need to show up. It isn’t like fear is pounding on the door at those moments, it’s just lightly stroking me and whispering. “It’s not a big deal, tell them you can’t, you need some rest, come on back to the cozy blanket” So I listen and I go to the “cozy corner” and I bail on myself. I take my phone out and scroll and look at all the people doing great things with their lives.
If this sounds familiar then I want to say: We need to stop bailing on ourselves. I’ve learned to allow the feeling of “I just don’t want to do this” to exist with “I matter and I show up for myself.” Cringing right now after righting that. It sounds like such airy fairy stuff. I don’t like to say things that I do not embody because then it really is just words, just sounds, meaningless.
When I sit with the feeling of not wanting to follow through, when I don’t try to distract myself from it, the truth comes out. I’m scared. Of what? Gosh, so much! Mostly failure and judgment. Let’s face it, we live in a judgmental society. People make all kinds of assumptions about us and they don’t much question whether or not it’s true.
So this morning I step forward holding “I don’t really want to do this and I matter and I show up for myself” I write the social media content, I invest in my growing business. It’s hard, and the thoughts tell me it’s useless.
Question to ponder for you: “How are you bailing on yourself?” Simple question, lots of juicy stuff to tap into